My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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