I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
