He asked me if I "almost moaned"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Found your dick twin last night
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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