dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
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It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
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HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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