All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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