I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize