I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
worst night to have a conscience
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
