I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
