idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
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my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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