She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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