I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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