I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
