Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You are a genius and a whore.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
