sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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