he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Randomize
