I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Randomize
