We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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