so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
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