I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
