I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
