If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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