Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
