Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
