I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
