I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
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I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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