White coat. Heels.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
