I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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