What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
