My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
