would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
