I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
