he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
