and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
