I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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