My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
