dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
