yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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