While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
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An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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