It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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