I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Randomize
