so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
