I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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