I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
