where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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