I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hippo gnu deer
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
