U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
i believe in u and ur pee
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
