so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
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I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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