everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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