i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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