i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
