No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
