You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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