absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
