Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize