we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
