Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
