i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
